A Birthday Special: 30 Things I Think I Finally Understand

howdy, everyone! special edition because wednesday was my 30th birthday — eek! i’m sitting in brooklyn at one of my favorite coffee shops sipping a triple shot latte after a nice workout, which all around is an ideal morning.

today’s newsletter is life-related. marketing is just marketing, but that will be back in action later this weekend.

i am very lucky to have 3,045 friends who have signed up to No Filter and if you’re reading this right now, please know that you have had a bigger hand in helping change my life than you realize. whether you have signed up, emailed me back, shared an edition, it all means so much.

like any person does, i wanted to send 30 quick bullets that i feel like I have learned in the last decade of my life. truthfully, birthdays scare the crap out of me. i hate getting older, but this one does feel a bit different.

so, what could i have learned in the last 10 years of my life? well, let’s see.

1) life moves fast. it’s scary. you need to take a step back or pull up for air. i am not someone who is good at slowing down. if you know me, you know i go hard and i go fast, which usually makes me creatively burnout lol. however, celebrating the small things or the big or trying to do less to live a biiiit more is on the list this year.

2) college is overrated. well, naturally only if you’re not in a field where you technically need a degree. in my junior year at my third (!!!!) college because i kept transferring, i dropped out and it was the best decision of my life because i would not be sitting here and writing to you in the moment. fun fact: i actually wanted to be a dietician. I started my food account in my college dorm and that was the start to something i didn’t think would ever happen.

3) work can easily become your identity if you let it. as someone who is still trying to unlearn this, it’s hard and when change happens, your ego takes the biggest hit ever. the bounce back feels like climbing a mountain. you doubt yourself, your ability to do the same level of work, and just feel like a mess.

4) I can’t take credit for this, but it’s true:

If you feel like everyone is irking you, eat some food.

If you feel like everyone hates you, get some sleep.

If you’re upset with yourself, take a shower.

If you’re tired of everything, take a walk.

5) Saying “no” is a skill and one that not everyone has. Still working on this one.

6) You don’t need to drink to have fun. Growing up in NYC, I got partying out of my system by the time I got to college, which is when I first dabbled with not drinking and i do not miss waking up with anxiety.

7) Growth is lonely, especially if you work for yourself. No one talks about it enough.

8) Good people make good work better.

9) "Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.” I would rather hold up a process a bit to have it run itself in due time and efficiently for months on end vs. sacrificing moving too fast just to have something have loopholes. Sometimes moving slow is part of the strategy.

10) “You need hobbies that don't involve your phone” - someone who has a 9 hour screen-time.

11) “I Don’t Know” is an answer and not a sign of weakness.

12) You can love your job and still need a break from it.

13) You will never regret a workout.

14) Handwritten to-do lists > Hi Moleskine, please sponsor me.

15) Document everything.

16) Failing is better than not knowing what could have been. Pretty much sums up how I felt about starting this newsletter.

17) Sometimes the best thing you can do is get a good night’s sleep and deal with it tomorrow. Running on fumes isn’t good for you or anyone around you (as I write this on 5 hours of sleep).

18) Just because you can do it all yourself doesn’t mean you should. I’ve been a one-person team for the whole time I have scaled my consultancy. Maybe 30 is when I learn to delegate?

19) You can be excellent at your job and still be learning how to show up for people better. If there’s one thing that stresses me out the most, it is how i show up outside of work. For years, I have always had a really hard time at maintaining communication, answering texts, making plans, and therefore, it might seem that i don’t care, but in reality, i care so much. It’s never personal, but it can feel it. If you’re seeing this and I owe you an email, a text, a dm or anything, please know I am learning to do better and it’s not you, it’s me lololo.

20) Therapy. That is all.

21) It’s okay to celebrate and reward yourself. Being proud of yourself is a muscle you have to build.

22) Mini lamps are proof that small adjustments can completely change the vibe. Overhead lighting is OUT.

23) Being an adult is having a fridge full of silly, little beverages.

24) Realizing no one actually knows what they’re doing is both terrifying and freeing. Fake it till you make it, am i right?

25) Falling in love with ordinary days is actually the goal.

26) Clean space = clear mind.

27) Some years are about leveling up. Some years are about staying alive. Both count. If you follow me, you know that I am pretty open about mental health and man is this one true. There were years where I truly wasn’t sure I would make it to 30, but here we are.

28) You’ll learn more from shipping one messy thing than planning ten perfect ones. “Done is better than perfect” I repeat to myself to remind myself to just do the thing, start the thing, and iterate.

29) “You smell good” is a top-tier compliment. Wear this and thank me later.

30) Nobody is coming to save you. You simply choose the life you want or have the ability to make a difference.

I am sure I am missing so much more, but if there are any lessons you want to share, hit “reply” and let’s be in our feels.

Until Sunday, I hope you have a great Friday and weekend. I’ll be back in your inbox on Sunday with some help from my friends at Hummingbirds and there might be a special gift for you guys if you love also roaming around grocery stores to celebrate.

See you then.

-KD